Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
