In the future we'll all be gay
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
