I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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