just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
