What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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