I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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