nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I need to calm my uterus...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
