quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
