you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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