He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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