when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Randomize
