sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
