HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Vodka?
Forever.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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