I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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