Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
