it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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