that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
