Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
