How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
