i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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