Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
