just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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