Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize