you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
