then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
