I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
