I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
