NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
