Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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