i would punch a child for taco bell
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
