For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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