The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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