I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
