I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
