oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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