How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
