Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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