wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she smelled like a LAN party
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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