So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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