you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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