So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
