i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
