I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
When are your genitals available?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
