So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Randomize
