Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
