the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize