I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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