Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
