god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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