What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
