Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
