can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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