you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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