Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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