please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
