I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
