youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
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