I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
