I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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