there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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