Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
