Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
then he tried to convert me to islam
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
