But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
