she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
