some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
