I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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