i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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