The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
