just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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