i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Can I color on your dick again?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
